When I get down to the root, to the motive, to the base of my actions and thoughts, I find a lot of them are not built on Jesus. I know that they should be, but knowing does not equate to being (but it often tricks me into thinking so). I know I should study for the glory of God, yet I do it for myself and my parents. I know I shouldn't sin for the sake of my relationship with God, yet when (emphasis on "when") I don't sin it's because of 面子 and fear of wrath. I know I should serve for God, yet I often do it because I feel responsible to man. I know I should love others for the sake of glorifying God, yet I often do it out of pride or convenience.
And that is why I often fail. I can't study at my full potential, I always end up slipping in sin, I'm often ashamed of my servitude, I can't truly love others.
I lack love towards God. I know I should love Him more, but I don't. But I do wish.
Love takes effort, or else it's probably not love.
So how do I love God more? Is it a natural feeling? Perhaps on a higher level. Since love takes effort, I shouldn't wait to wonder how I can get this feeling to come out, and rather start making effort for it to grow.
Do I give offerings to Him? Do I praise Him? Do I thank Him? Do I make myself accountable to Him? Do I pro-actively build up my relationship with Him?
I need to start.
"More love to thee, O Christ, more love to thee!
Hear thou the prayer I make on bended knee.
This is my earnest plea: More love, O Christ, to thee;
more love to thee, more love to thee!"
Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. (Matthew 22:37-38)